Spiderman
We had been dating a few months, I think. It was early enough in our relationship that he still did things he hated just to impress me. We had walked to nearby park and sat on a large, stone, modern art sculpture and read Annie Dillard aloud to each other.
For the record, he dislikes walking (he denies this), modern art, reading aloud, and anything by Annie Dillard. I married him anyway.
It was a breezy day, and I sat there holding the pages still, trying to look fetching. I looked over at this new boyfriend of mine, wide-eyed and infatuated, and at that very moment, a tiny spider, spinnerets working furiously, cast off from his beard, descended a few inches, and let the wind carry it away.
I blinked.
“Do you know a spider just came out of your beard?” I asked.
He did not miss a beat. “Helps keep the rest of the insect population down,” he replied, stroking his beard. Then we went back to our book.
seven
That might be the greatest date story I’ve ever heard.
suburbancorrespondent
Fast thinker!
Sherri E.
“I often think of the set pieces of liturgy as certain words which people have successfully addressed to God without their getting killed.”
How can anyone not love the woman who wrote that?
Hilarious date story, though.
Sue
snicker
Minnesotamom
I don’t often type this, but LOL!!!
Kimberly
Love Annie Dillard. One of my youth camp leaders set her “Lord of the Starfields” to music. (Ok, I just googled that, and it appears that Bruce Cockburn may have written the song. Which is weird since I happen to really like Cockburn, but am not familiar with that song…which, according to Google, might be one of his most famous. Ah well.)
The spider thing would have FREAKED me out.
Beck
Oh my goodness.
Kimberly
Oh and sorry, I just read your 5 minutes post. ARGH. We had some construction last year, which scared up a nest of wolf spiders. And one crawled through the kitchen, and was happily (or terrifiedly) sitting on the rug. Which I noticed when I set my BABY down on the floor, not two inches from the monster. Shrieks galore. Which brought the contractor running. And created great amusement among the workers.
Those are some gosh darn big spiders.
gretchen from lifenut
If he had screamed like a little girl while tearing out his beard, I have the feeling I wouldn’t be reading Toddled Dredge right now.
Great story.
Kelly
That, my dear, is the best story that I have heard in awhile. It reminds me too much of my husband, I had to wipe the tears from my eyes just to click on the ‘leave comment’ button! Thanks for making my day.
Pieces
What a great story. When I tell the Loved he has some crumbs or something in his beard he just looks at me dispassionately and says “I’m saving it for later” and just leaves it there.
Erin
That is so awesome.
What a funny guy.
Kelly @ Love Well
At least it wasn’t a wolf spider. (I’m still shuddering.)
Melanie @ BeanPaste
I am forwarding this to my own bearded husband.
Kelly @ Wisdom Begun
Bahahahaha! That was way too cute. Great way to start my day . . . .