Question for you natural-birthers
During my first three deliveries, I had an epidural. During the first birth, the epidural was not very strong, and I still felt pain and tearing. During the second birth, the epidural was so strong that I lost the ability to move my legs, which I found far more frightening than pain. During the third birth, the contractions from pitocin were so strong that the epidural was useless. I ended up rolling around, moaning and howling and clinging to the bedrails until I could push.
So none of the epidurals were a raging success. I am seriously considering going without one this time. When I was receiving the last one, I jumped when the needle went in, and the anesthesiologist gasped.
I never want to hear a gasp from someone sticking a needle so close to my spine.
I think I might skip the epidural this time, if I can handle the pain. My doctors are the supportive type and won’t pressure me into anything. So I want some advice from all of you who have delivered babies without anesthesia. How did you manage the pain? What do I need to know? Anything you recommend I read?
Karen
hey - please email. I can give you lots and lots of info. My shortest piece of advice? stay in motion and Get a doula - professional or just a friend who has had natural birth - the studies all show it decreases epidural rate significantly. no offense to Az, but it seems to matter that it be a woman. He should be there too, of course, but he won’t so much impact whether you need an epidural.
Things I use (for myself or with clients): meditation, prayer, birth ball, birth tub (best!), hot shower, cold packs, massage, position changes - stay out of bed - counter-pressure.
Books I read: Birthing From Within (there are parts you may hate, but good stuff too)
got to sleep now - was out double overnighter birth. more tomorrow if you want more info.
btw, I did one with an epidural and two without & help people with epidurals all the time, so if you hire a doula and think you may want an epidural, just make sure she is gonna be cool with that - she should be, but I’ve heard not good stories about doulas getting way out of their scope of practice. A doula should serve you and respect your choices.
http://www. gentlebalancebirth.com
momhuebert
I gave birth to all four of my children using Lamaze breathing techniques. With my first one I was also given some sort of sedative or pain killer, shot into my hip. (By the way, the pain in my bum from that shot stayed with me for months.)
Otherwise, I just used the rhythmic breathing and relaxation. It worked– meaning, I made it through in one piece without screaming, cussing, or needing an epidural.
Whether it will work for anyone else, I don’t know. All four of my babies were born premature, and the largest was just seven pounds. I can’t say how it would have worked if I’d had bigger babies.
suburbancorrespondent
Stay in motion is right. Don’t let them confine you to a bed with IV’s or monitors. Have supportive staff that is familiar with natural childbirth. I also found that being in a deep tub made all the difference during transition. When it was time to push they dragged me out and then it was only 15 minutes until the baby was born. But you need people there to cheer you on, who aren’t scared by your pain, who can tell you over and over again that you can do it and that you are okay. I am the world’s biggest wimp and I have had 5 babies without medication. The first I had an epidural and it still hurt during the pushing.
I have never done natural childbirth with pitocin, however. I think that would be much harder. Why do they use it on you?
Nothing to me is more painful than having to lie still in labor. Nothing.
Veronica Mitchell
SC, they induced both my second and third babies. #2 had a two-vessel cord, so they wanted her to come early before her size became a strain on the cord’s ability to provide fluid. #3 was induced because my blood pressure went super-scary-crazy high and they didn’t want me to, you know, have a stroke. I only had pain with #3.
Melanie @ Beanpaste
Though I didn’t have much luck with it, some of my dearest friends have used Hypnobirthing (http://www.hypnobirthing.com/) with great success.
While I labored with James, I used a birthing ball, breathing, and my iPod/headphones to block out everything else. That was working really well, actually, until my labor stalled out and I was required to take The Hellbeast Elixir that is pitocin.
Byranie
Hi, had one with epidural and one without and feel without is much better. Maybe my epidural wasn’t administered very well, but I found it easier to relax without the epidural because I wasn’t expecting anything to take the edge off — I knew I had to work with the contractions.
Karen sounds like a good resource. I second her recommendation of “Birthing From Within”. I had to stifle my gag reflex in some parts, but I did find it to be the most useful book regarding natural birth.
God bless you and your baby!
HopiQ
I had an epidural with my first. Looking back after having three more birthing experiences, I would venture to say that I would not have felt the NEED to have an epidural if I hadn’t been told to lie down on the hospital bed on my back. I couldn’t handle the birthing process after that. So OF COURSE, bring on the epidural if this is what labor is!
Our next pregnancy was twins. They were born in the hospital. Everything happened so quickly there was no time for an epidural. There was a lot of stress in that room among the nurses that was awful, although understandable. The doctor didn’t arrive until after the fact. That whole labor was about two hours.
The next two births we ended up having at home with a midwife. We weren’t at-home people to begin with, but a lot of information and prayer later (and reassurances to my husband that, no, he would not have to deliver the baby), we felt confident to try this route. We are so glad we did. It made the births 100x calmer. It is a very different experience, at least for us. Being at the hospital (plus the drive there) made my adrenaline spike. Having to deal with people while in labor isn’t helpful either. “Deal with people”…to clarifiy: converse with hospital staff, nurses; make my desires known; explain this and that…
At home I was able focus completely on having my baby.
I think that a doula or midwife at the hospital would help a lot in the “Deal with people.”
I found that sitting in the toilet and standing/leaning on husband were much more tolerable positions than being on my back. HORRIBLE.
So all that to say…from your experiences of having an epidural in the past…it doesn’t sound like it was all that beneficial. If those around you will allow you to labor in whatever way you find the most comfortable, I think it will help things a lot.
Feel free to email me!
I thoroughly enjoy your blog.
ivymae
My favorite subject! I am huge fan of getting a doula. I’m sure you remember the revolving door of nurses, and how you never knew who you would get - a doula is a constant companion, who knows you, your values, and (for us) was as much a support for Tom as she was for me. She has a whole bag of tricks (figuratively and literally) and it is her job to make your labor as easy as possible. If that means holding your hand while you get the epi, awesome. if that means reminding you that maybe moving to another position would help, awesome. If that means putting a heating pad on your back, awesome. You get the idea.
And for me, nothing (nothing nothing nothing) beat water. Be it in the shower or a tub, I could not have done either of our labors without water. Both times, I got out of the tub to try and walk during transition, and almost automatically collapsed and started screaming for some “G-D drugs!” Back in the water I went and suddenly it was all so much easier. Not easy (it’s called labor for a reason, aye?) but it wasn’t that crushing pain.
Adventures In Babywearing
I recommend the book Having A Baby Naturally. I found it at the library- it’s a Mothering book and really helped me plan my natural birth. My first two had some paid meds, but my last was completely drug free including no IV, nothing. And it was my most pleasant of all. I’d get thee to a Bradley class as soon as possible, or some other form of breathing birth class. Lamaze breathing is what I was taught and it really did help.
I found that the controlled breathing, quiet, dimly lit room, and soft music that I chose seriously helped the entire birth. I also suggest “giving in” to the pain instead of fighting it, if you can. When you truly surrender, your labor quickens and actually becomes more manageable. If any of this makes sense!
Steph
Sherri E.
Well, I will be interested in the responses you get. I am strongly considering an HBAC for number 3, if there is a number 3, because I am a wimp who yields to temptation in a hospital setting. If I’m at home, they can’t trot in an anesthesiologist and dangle the carrot of relief before me.
Emily
Had three w/o pain meds. First was an absolute horror b/c hey had to use forceps. They gave me a pudendal block right before inserting said forceps, but that didn’t really kick in until the stitching up part (fourth degree with forceps)–again, not fun. That said, I was STILL willing to try again with #2 & #3 b/c I am DEATHLY afraid of epidurals. I just know too many ‘bad’ stories with them–allergies, not working, immobility, etc., and I figure that our bodies are made to work that way. #2 was what I imagine a normal first birth to be like–tough, but bearable, and #3 was really so *easy* that it made me wonder whether I really do want more after all!
There is nothing like a natural birth–being able to fully participate in the whole experience. I think the biggest thing to remember is to work with your body, and to RELAX in between contractions. I had a doula with #2 & #3, and it is WORTH THE MONEY! I also think that it really helps to have a birth plan for the hospital staff (if you go to a hospital) posted on your door, because they tend to try and line you up with the natural-birth-friendly nurses, and they will be some of your best advocates.
One more piece of advice, two of my three have been meconium babies, and it is SO MUCH BETTER to get an internal monitor when birthing naturally because you can move around and those external belly monitors are painful when you get close to the end. I was mortally afraid of internal monitoring with my first because they have to put the probe in the baby’s scalp, but it is medically more accurate (makes the doctor feel good), and MUCH more comfortable for you, AND it really doesn’t hurt the baby at all. You could hardly see the tiny scab at all for either of my mec-babies; chances are, you’ll ‘hurt’ them much more at some point clipping their nails.
Good luck! You can do it!!!
Emily
I forgot to mention that I found with #2 & #3 that hospital beds are a girl’s best friend in natural labor because you can sit the bed up & labor on your knees while still having the top of the bed to lean into–it is a great position, but then you can quasi-lie down in between for a rest, and you don’t have to maneuver your big awkward self around too much. I love that labor position! Like others have said, feel free to email if you want more encouragement.
Terri
My first delivery was completely natural, but the Lamaze training went out the window totally. I remember wanting to lay on my back just for a bit, but the nurses insisted I needed to be on my side. I just gritted my teeth and tried to bear the pain. I was on the verge of asking for something, anything for the pain when the doctor came in and said it was time to push.
I know people who’ve used midwives and birthing centers and have been very happy with their experiences with them. I never had the chance to find out for myself because I had two c-sections (for various reasons) after the natural delivery.
Debbie
I took childbirth classes which were a tremendous help (and read everything I could find). The breathing and relaxation techniques really worked for me. I’m not saying it was pain free, but it was totally bearable.
Leslie
Go for it! I went natural four times. Educate yourself on the whole process and learn how to breathe. From the sound of your past experiences with birthing, going natural is going to feel great!
Natalie @ I AM (not)
Loved the epidural! I had a great doc. this time to put it in and then it was a breeze. That baby was out in ten minutes. By a 7, I was ready for that epidural.
But, do what you feel is best for YOU!
Jackie@OurMomentsOurMemories
I second the advice, “Stay in motion.” I was in labor 14 hours and I walked a good portion of the time, got in and out of the tub (which was extremely helpful) and also stood beside a rocking chair and rocked it back and forth (I know it sounds odd, but, hey, it worked for me). I also sat and bounced on a birthing ball. I had a friend there who coached me which was invaluable especially during the last intense hours when I thought I couldn’t handle it any longer. Honestly, the breathing techniques that I learned were not all that helpful, but I know for some it works. It was NOT pain-free, but absolutely doable.
edj
I did my 3 all drug free. I recommend reading the old books on the Bradley method of natural childbirth. They recommend focusing on totally relaxing as much as is possible. As much as I could manage it, I found it really really helped–much more than the Lamaze breathing.
Moriah @ Please Pass the Salt
I had wonderful experiences with epidurals with my three but have lots of friends who birth naturally and they swear by Bradley. But I agree - you definitely need doula or a midwife at your side.
marit
breathe, breathe, breathe, and remember… this too shall pass.
seriously though, here in Holland epidurals are not the norm, home births are, and we all survive! I took classes with my hubby to help me learn how to relax and breathe properly and we got some massage techniques thrown in as well.
Most bonding experience of my life, going through the births with my hubby as coach.
NOBLE PIG
Both my epidurals worked great but I would look into a birthing coach…doula.
carrien (she laughs at the days)
Birthing From Within-Excellent book. It talks about how it feels to be in labor, not what is happening physically in labor. It’s written to prepare you to deal with the experience, not the medical details. I loved it. It’s a little bit zen, but still very helpful.
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth-Especially pay attention to the stories and the way the women in them talk about their attitudes, and how their attitudes are reflected in their experience of labor.
These articles by Sarah Buckley were immensely helpful for me.
Pain in Labor: Your hormones are your helpers
and
Ecstatic Birth:Nature’s hormonal blueprint for labor
My first was an induction that lead to C-section.
My second and third were Home birth VBACs
The third was such a peaceful time in my MIL”S bath tub with scented water and candles. It went really fast and was quite lovely. Really. I felt like I could do it all over again right after we were finished. It’s makes me want to get pregnant again just thinking about it. I think that’s the way births were meant to be.
The things that made it different and better were my resolve not to complain about it because that was self defeating and pointless, to accept the contractions as they came, and to keep my mouth loose and open. Sounds weird but I read it in Ina May’s book and it totally works.
Water helped. So does moving around. Avoid the monitor because it straps you to a bed i often uncomfortable positions. They don’t need more than 20 minutes at a time. Statistically monitors do absolutely nothing to improve outcomes. THey are just hospital voodoo that keeps you confined to a bed when you’d be more comfortable moving around.
Another thing you might find helpful is reading the stories of unassisted childbirth at this website.
Born Free
It helps to change the way you think about birth to read these stories. You won’t like all of them, but they’ll restore your faith in your own body, and your capacity for strength. At least it did for me.
I’ve got more but those are my top picks.
E-mail me if you like.
carrien (she laughs at the days)
I have no idea what’s up with the underlining, sorry.
Kimberly
Well, I took the Bradley classes and was all prepared for a natural birth, and then my son refused to turn out of a transverse breech position, so we had to schedule a C-section. Annoying.
But I learned so much in our Bradley class (12 weeks long, you better learn something, eh?) that we felt like we were really armed with tricks and tips and information.
The few people that I have talked to that had bad experiences with medication-free births are those who did not have any training ahead of time, and really didn’t know what to do. So, I think educating yourself is the best! Reading is good, but if there is a Bradley class you can get to, that would be the best!
Julie
Too many comments to read through, so if any of this has already been said, I apologize. I had two of my three as “natural” as it gets, i.e. at home with a midwife, and I strongly strongly strongly support your desire to not have medication! It’s better for you and the baby.
The “pain” of labor is not like the pain of an injury. It really is possible to embrace it and let it move through you. I’m not sayin’ it doesn’t hurt. It does! But there is a huge mental component to it also. If you are scared, worried, or intimidated in any way, it will be much worse. The best defense is educating yourself and making sure someone is there to support you (in addition to Az). I would strongly suggest hiring a birth doula, and I can give you a zillion links if you want more info.
Aimee
I’ve had four babies so far, and the worst labor BY FAR was the raging pitocin labor. It was also the one where there was no pain relief. Thankfully, it was also the shortest.
I have had varying degrees of success with epidurals. With #1 it was too heavy, with #3, it only numbed my right foot. (having given birth a few times, I was pretty sure that was a useless part to have numbed!)
Something to keep in mind: when I was having baby #4 and I was talking with the anes. about an epidural because they were planning to shoot me full of pitocin again, he said that once you have an epidural, there is a “patch” in the area around the spinal cord where the needle goes in. It’s scar tissue, it’s there forever, and it can interfere with any future epidurals, rendering them useless. (I think that’s what happened with #3 labor)
For me, I found that sitting up was the best position, and the Lamaze breathing didn’t do it for me. I don’t know if I was doing it incorrectly, but I felt much better when I just surrendered to the pain as it came. Sounds corny, but it worked.
gretchen from lifenut
For my drug-free birth, I spent a lot of time in the whirlpool tub. It’s amazing how relaxed I felt in the warm, churning water. A regular tub doesn’t really do it for me for some reason.
A shower might give you the same effect, if there is a place to sit. Who wants to stand for several hours?
If your hospital has a tub with jets, beg to use it.
I had an epidural in five out of the six births. Like I said, the only factor that was different in my drug-free birth was a particular tub. I love that tub. I’ve got it’s back. It’s located in Grand Junction, Colorado. You have time to relocate, don’t you?
Jennifer (Et Tu?)
With my first I gave birth with midwives at a freestanding birthing center that offered no pain medication. Unfortunately, my son was compound presentation (meaning his fist was up next to his forehead and his elbow was jutting out), so the pain was unimaginable. If he hadn’t been in that position I think it would have been painful but much more manageable. With my last two I did have epidurals but they only worked for the last ten minutes, and I am also not into the whole “needles next to my spinal cord” thing. I’m also thinking about skipping it this time around.
My favorite book on the subject is Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way since it has so much good info — after reading it you feel really prepared for the birth process.
In terms of pain management, personally, I have realized that relaxation-based techniques don’t work for me. I’m too impatient and uptight and lazy to practice them. What has worked surprisingly well for me is listening to energizing music (rap, actually) and just clenching my teeth and getting through it. Though I am in the minority on that one.
I second the commenter who suggested looking into a doula. If you can find one whom you really click with, I’ve heard they can be wonderful. I haven’t used one but know a lot of people who say that having one made all the difference.
PJ
Just wanted to say that I so admire all of the thought and planning put into childbirth by today’s moms. Young moms are soooo much more knowledgeable that we were (1970’s) about childbirth. We pretty much went to the hospital and let the doctor do whatever. Although I did tell him I wanted a minimum of medication. He said okay. We’ll see how you feel at the time. I think I’ve figured out that I had only a local injection — into the cervix (paracervical block, I think!) to ease pain of the cervix stretching. Nothing for the contractions. That form of anesthesia is rarely used today. For the second one, I had only the local for the episiotomy repair.
Just want to congratulate you and wish you well. All of this advice ALMOST makes me wish I were still in the baby business. Best Wishes!!!
Genni
All five of my deliveries were med-free. Two (#1 and #5) were pitocin-driven. Pit’s a HEIFER.
As a former prepared childbirth instructor, I’m siding with the motion, tub, support person, massage, relaxation (watch the tension in your hands and jaw…good indicators that you’re tense in other places) suggestions that you’ve already read. Yeah, all that and lots of prayer.
And, for me, baby #4 practically walked out. His was an easier labor than baby # 5’s. I’ll pray that that’s the case for you, too.
Genni
His labor - oxymoron. I had a better grip on English language at one time. Sorry.
Jenni D
Hi! We are in very similar boats. With my first 2, I had epidurals which were helpful, but not the pain-erasing miracle that many would have you believe. I still felt pain and made my share of noise during pushing (which lasted 3-1/2 hrs. and 1 hr., respectively). For my 3rd, I was given prostaglandin gel in an effort to get things going. “Go” they did– my water broke within a couple of hours and by the time I got into a delivery room I was too far along for an epidural. The delivery was painful and fast (the fast part I attribute to the gel). But I felt awesome afterward (took a shower, unassisted, about an hour after she was born), whereas after the epidurals I was wiped out for a while. I also remember just feeling more present after she was delivered (not while I was pushing– I was a raving lunatic while I was pushing). My OB informed me that I had been a victim of “gel hell,” and assured me most labors after gel do not go like mine did. Either way, I will not let that stuff near me again! I am due with our 4th in 6 weeks and I hope to deliver without any meds, but I am open to the idea if things get too painful or protracted. Not sure if any of this is helpful! Keep in mind that no awards committee marches through the door after any type of delivery– you’ve got to do what you feel is necessary at the time. You’re in charge. Good luck!
Kelly @ Love Well
Any chance your labors have gotten quicker with each baby, Veronica? I know it’s hard to tell when #2 and #3 were induced, but I would think speed is a factor that would help in natural childbirth.
(Great comments on this thread, by the way. I hadn’t thought about the Bradley method in years, but seeing it here reminded me that I had several friends who swore by it.)
Cindy
I had an pitocin induced labor with our daughter that I managed without pain medication - and with only 3 swear words throughout an 8 hour labor. I had to be monitored, so I couldn’t use the bath or shower, but I imagined that would be helpful, nor could I walk much.
In the early stages, I used the birthing ball, heat packs, and massage. Those all seemed to help.
In the later stages, I used a CD (loaded on an iPod - playing it in the room didn’t work) called the Brain Wave Symphony, Alpha waves. It is lovely classical music that is supposed to induce alpha (relaxation) waves. Then I used some imagery to go through the contraction. My image was what I call the “rotating stair master of death.” Imagine 3 stairs that rotate on a belt and you just climb and climb and climb. The only way to get through it is to “relax and climb.” If you tense up, you’ll die. So, every time a contraction began, I would breathe slowly and deeply and say to myself “relax and climb.”
I had my partner and a friend in the room with me. My friend’s job was to count down (not up) the contraction monitor after it reached its peak, so I would know the end was in sight and to encourage me to “relax and climb” as it went up. My partner was there for emotional support. She tried to help with the relax and climb things, but she could never remember the right order of things and it was important to stay in the trance - for which I needed the right words!
So, she held my hand and rubbed my back.
I actually napped through a good part of my labor.
The only time I had pain was when they put me on my side for about 20 minutes to get my daughter to line up better. That’s when the 3 swear words came. Fortunately, she dropped into place after about 4 contractions and I got off my side and life was good again.
I pushed 4 times (20 minutes) and out she popped.
They tell me that the pitocin was up pretty high, but I tried to be unaware of that.
I was really lucky. And I think being so relaxed really helped.
I would say to be sure that you have a bale out code word and you drill it into everyone’s head. When I was on my side, I asked if I could have some IV pain meds. I was disappointed that everyone jumped on the band wagon rather than encouraging me that I could do it and letting me know that I was almost through the hard part (’cause it is the worst right before it gets better). I had a code word and had shared it with people, but no one remembered. Fortunately, it was too late for anything and I got the natural birth I wanted.
I would suggest practicing relaxation and imagery strategies well before your actual birth date. If you are going to use them, those skills need to be in place and strong. Having a doula is a good idea too. My partner was not supportive of it, so we didn’t, but it meant I had to be well educated and in charge.
Good luck!
Minnesotamom
I had back labor, so Husband pressing on my back (HARD) with both his fists while I had contractions helped. Also, the midwives taught him to squeeze together the tops of my hips when I contracted, which brought amazing relief. Laboring in a tub was fantastic, but it also slowed down contractions. I tried to do a water birth, but wasn’t getting strong enough pushing contractions, so I had to get out.
I read the book (and practiced the techniques) on the Bradley method and Ina May’s Guide to Natural Childbirth…neither one were very helpful to me. I did the kegels and stretches and tore like crazy anyway, but with 3 kids behind you, you probably won’t have to worry about that part.
Beck
Ugh, I wouldn’t even TRY to give birth without an epidural, but I DID have a back labour/ten pound baby/three hour pushing labour experience, so I’m just traumatized.
Elizabeth Channel
I’ve had a smorgasboard of birth experiences and I won’t go into all the weird details, but I do love Bradley, love a Doula, and love the tub–especially if you can get someone to spray specifically on your lower back if/when you have back labor–it’s amazing the difference the water makes. Exciting thoughts–makes me yearn for another baby–congratulations!
Thea
I tried to go drug free (but stalled in transition and ended up with a C-section instead). Pre-stall, the labor went quite nicely with the help of deep breathing and lots of moving around - I felt infinitely better standing than I did lying or sitting down. I do wish, though, that we’d hired a doula - I think that would have helped things a LOT.
elisa
Ooo, oo, let me talk, let me talk!! My fav subject…
Two main things; stay OFF your back at ALL costs and get a doula or labor coach. Even if hubby is great and supportive and knows his stuff, he is (at some point) likely to need to use the bathroom/eat/doze/make a phone call/etc. and Murphy’s Law dictates that that will be the moment when the Nazi Nurse shows up, or you sprint into transition, or some other disaster occurs. You need support at all times so you can (as another reader said) concentrate on having the baby– not on “dealing with stuff”.
If you can avoid Pit, you will greatly increase your chances of getting through it without an epi. Feel free to email me if you are interested in hearing about natural alternatives for “encouraging” a slow or sluggish labor. My first child was four weeks late and took 36 hours of labor to get out (but without any drugs of any kind, thank God), so I am well-versed in “hurrying things along” the natural way.
I also highly recommend a home-birth. If you are interested in that option (and actually even as a resource for general natural childbirth) I highly recommend the movie “The Business of Being Born”. You may have heard of it– Rikki Lake’s documentary that came out the end of last year? Excellently done and very informative. You should check it out.
elisa
Shoot, forgot to mention water, water, water. Both of mine (and my m/c), I spent lots of time in the pool, tub, shower, whatever. They were both born into the water. It helped enormously. Another video (I love birth video
called “Born In Water” would have some great info for you on water birthing. Also, google Michel Odent. He’s the “founder” of the modern-day water birthing movement.
Karen
wow - so relieved someone else had a bit of a love/hate relationship with Birthing From Within. thought I might get booed out of the birth business for that comment - in all else you are getting some great advice - except research Bradley - not every husband is into that type of role & you know your husband best. Otherwise, people who like that dynamic love, love Bradley and it seems to really work.
JulieC
I had two C-sections (long story.) But my best friend has four kids, and I was in the room with her for two of them. She had a midwife and her husband as her support person for all four. She had the kids in a birthing center where drugs were not an option (but an ambulance in case of emergency was.) Her reasons for going natural were expediency–when you add one medical intervention, that leads to another, which leads to another, etc. She just wanted the babies out, as simply as possible.
Her tips to others are, “Gravity is your friend!” and to use LOW tones to moan when the pain is bad instead of high pitched vocalizations. She felt that kept everything more relaxed and thus didn’t slow progress down.
All of that to say that if you have good support (whether from Az or a doula or both), going drug-free is totally do-able. Neither one of you seems to be the type to get pushed around by any uncooperative hospital staff.
Melanie
I just wanted to say thank you for this. I was considering going off the pill to try for #4, but after reading through the comments, I believe I can hold out a few more months…or years.
Octamom
Mom of eight here–4 natural births–4 with epidurals (okay, wait, my math is off–the latest babies are twins, so that technically counts as one birth two babies, right? )
I loved my natural births–after the fact. I just kept focusing that after the babies were born, I felt so incredible. My epidural babies certainly had their advantages, but I always did shakes, chills and spills (as in ’spilling up my lunch’) after the epidurals. After my natural birth babies, I got some kind of natural hormone kick that left me feeing amazing.
I would say the biggest thing is the support of your birth care giver letting you manage the pain your way. If they are trying to keep you in a bed, keep you tied to an i.v. tree, trying to keep you out of the shower or bathroom, that could make things a lot rougher. My best experiences were where I had the freedom to do what I needed to do to manage my discomfort levels.
Best wishes!
Blessings!
Nancy
Oh, Veronica! if you can make it through a bad epidural and a pitocin drip, then you can absolutely go natural! I had an epidural with #1 and then went natural with #2 and #3, which shows my disagreement with the “meds will make it better” philosophy. I wanted to feel my legs and know what it meant to push and just be present for everything, even the pain, so that I would recover that much more quickly after the birth and not feel as sluggish during that amazing time when you all first meet.
I also want to second Steph’s comment of giving in to the pain and not fighting it. It was the strangest feeling to ride the wave of pain and not grit my teeth against it and try to force it away. I felt that this concept was an epiphany for me. One of the student nurses (it was a teaching hospital) said she could never go without pain meds and I told her, “If I can, you can. I’m not an athlete or an expert in meditation. And if our great grandmothers and all the mothers before them did it, then you can, too!” Best wishes!
zdoodlebub
Not planning any more pregnancies here. But if I were, after reading this post (link pasted below), I would seriously consider a doula.
http://glutenfreefrugal.blogspot.com/2008/06/doula.html
Julia
Both times I gave birth, it was a water birth. I found the hot warm soothing and it relieved some of the pain from the contractions. I didn’t have any pain meds and didn’t regret it. I’d recommend it to anyone.
Bethany
I have no advice for you sorry. I had two epidurals and one baby born really, really fast. Like barely made it to the hospital fast. I guess if you can have a really fast labor, everything moves so fast you don’t notice much…except being nervous about delivering in a van is not cool.
But that’s not why I’m commenting. I felt the need to share how worrisome it is to hear something like a gasp while a needle is in your back.
During my third pregnancy (one I actually had time for an epidural..my quickie was number two…he’s always been fast at everything) the guy (not a woman, of course) giving me my epidural said s*** as he was poking a needle in my back. I think I stopped breathing. Come to find out, he was cursing about some packaging or something.
I was not happy.
So, I can understand about not wanting to go through that again.
Good luck with baby #4!
Jen
Maybe you’ve already received more advice than you could ever need (we women just love to share labor stories, don’t we?). But after recently birthing my third naturally (unintentionally–she just came too fast for the anesthesiologist to get me my epidural and I was WAY upset when my doctor told me I was too far along to get one after all), here are my tips:
I had my husband read out loud to me during the birth. I find his voice very soothing and it gave me something to think about other than the pain.
When contractions did come, I gripped his hand, breathed deeply and slowly (though with no particular rhythm) and silently counted inside my head until it was over. I don’t know why counting helped, but it did. Another little mental thing to focus on other than pain, I guess.
I liked sitting up in the hospital bed.
Although I freaked out when I learned I wouldn’t get an epidural, by that time I was already at 9 centimeters and had gone through the worst of the labor drug-free without even realizing I had done so. I pushed just a couple of times and the baby came right out. It probably helped that it was my third baby. Although I managed to do it naturally just fine, I don’t know if I could have stood it if I had had to push for hours, like I did with my first.
Good luck!
Emily
My first was an induction/epidural/c-section. Lovely. My second was natural. It wasn’t easy, for sure, but much better than the first. My third (due in September) is planned to be a natural birth at home with a midwife.
Have you read Ina Mae Gaskin’s book, Ina Mae’s Guide to Natural Childbirth? She offers LOTS of suggestions for ways to make childbirth more manageable. She’d rather you weren’t in a hospital at all, but if that’s where you want to be you can still read her book and gain valuable information.
A lot of your commenters have mentioned having a doula present. I’d definitely agree with that - having a trained woman present to support you is incredibly helpful. And I have a super-supportive husband, too! The doula isn’t at all to replace your husband, she’s in addition to him.
Have you considered birthing outside the hospital? Natural childbirth really is a LOT easier if you’re not in the hospital environment. For what it’s worth.
Good luck!
sarah
k…i’m sure people have probably already said this but with 2 kids just up from naps, my time is limited….bradley class. they have a website where you can search for instructors near you. and whatever you do…don’t lay on your back. we seriously were not meant to give birth on our backs…it was just the invention of some stupid man who found it more convenient or perhaps the story i once heard was true that some king wanted to be able to watch (secretly albeit) what was going on and required his wife to be on her back. stupid man.
heather
I had two with the epi and one without (so far), and the one without was by far the best. You might want to look into water birth. Does it hurt? Of course. I was riding that wave of pain right to the crest, the point where you think you might pass out, but it only seems pointless during transition. The rest of the time it was productive pain.
The thing I haven’t seen anyone comment of was to vocalize if you need to. Keep the tones low, but be as loud as you need to be. Thankfully my hospital is used to weird natural birthers so it wasn’t a big deal, but I’m told I was LOUD. Who cares, I was pushing out a nearly 10-lb baby from my 5′2″ frame.
The worst part was the hour afterward where I was exhausted and my bum hurt, but a couple of motrin and a nap and I was literally back to normal. The difference was like night and day, it took forever with my other births to feel mobile again.
Amanda
For me it was not fearing the pain, working through each contraction. Nothing groundbreaking, in other words, I don’t really give myself credit, it just happened for me. My last daughter I asked for a tiny bit of help, then the maniacal robot of a nurse drugged me back to the stone age, seriously.
Jill
I have actually done it both ways. I frankly wanted an epidural the second time, but didn’t make it. I used Lamaza and breathing, but my labor was lightening fast so it went by in a haze. I will say the actual pushing out of the baby is a lot easier without the epidural. So that is good. I think it is easier not having one after you have already pushed out babies cause you know how it goes down. Doesn’t make it any less painful, but you at least know you won’t die and you get a baby at the end. I am pretty sure none of this is helpful…
jolyn
Don’t have time to read through the comments, and I know I’m late (but you haven’t had the baby yet, right?) but I never had an epidural with three successful births. Not that I was against them, but military hospitals are, um, not necessarily something to be recommended.
My third (three years ago) was born without so much as aspirin, and I was flat on my back. I didn’t have access (or the money) for something more natural, but I was too late to the hospital for an epidural (I go VERY VERY FAST from 5 to 10, and I got there at an
(because I hate hospitals)(probably because I only know the military kind)and the doc, who was late, ended up using a vacuum to help the little guy out before distress…
What can I say? I don’t know the difference, since I’ve never had an epidural, but my only regret with NOT having an epidural is that, without a midwife, I ended up with monstrous hemmorhoids from the pushing. Recovering from everything else was a cinch. Yea, it hurt. And I vividly remember thinking, because we were not planning a fourth, “Thank God this is the last time I have to push out a dump the size of a watermelon.”
It burned like my vagina was on fire, and then I was holding a beautiful baby boy, and nothing else mattered.
jolyn
I don’t know why there was a happy face there. It was supposed to be an “8″.
JanScholl
It’s been 31 years since I last gave birth and all of them were naturual, no drugs. I would not change it at all if I had to do it over. I wanted to be aware, in full control of what I did or didn’t do and I gave birth to a boy 3 ounces short of 9 pounds with a head like a watermelon. I would rather give natural birth than have my teeth cleaned. I also did most of my laboring at home and would have had the first on the wrong side of the train tracks had my water broken. 29 minutes after I left home, she was born. I left a bit earlier for the others but still less than an hour and maybe I was progressive as I checked myself out when it was still normal to stay two or three days. I don’t think of it as pain, but work and it was quickly out of my mind when it was over. It’s worth a try if you are up to it.And its easier for each one too. I wish I had had a couple more.