On Behalf of the Comma
Pregnancy does funny things to the brain. I have always prided myself on my grammar; I make the occasional mistake, but I usually catch it on my own, though not always until after I hit the publish button (my apologies to those of you who read my RSS feed).
But during this pregnancy I have noticed a disturbing trend: I have been misusing apostrophes. I will be halfway through a comment on someone else’s post and realize that I wrote “your” for “you’re,” or “they’re” for “their,” and I feel as if I’m slowly going mad. Where did this affliction come from? What chemical in pregnancy hormones affects the apostrophe receptor, and what possible benefit can this have for humanity?
The other day I noticed, too late, that I had thrown a completely inappropriate apostrophe, willy-nilly, into a comment at this post at Lifenut’s blog.
I cannot fully convey to you how that wildly misplaced apostrophe pains me.
To make matters worse, my keyboard has collected a large-ish crumb from the fingers of children. This crumb shifts around, but returns frequently to its haven under the comma key. I have tried to clean under the letters, but with no success. From under the comma key, the crumb resists the force of my typing, and the computer consequently leaves out commas.
This is not good for my mental health.
So to all of you grammar sticklers out there, I offer my heartfelt apologies for the indiscretions you see on my blog or in my comments on your blog. Please know that they bother me just as much as they bother you - possibly more, since I feel my identity is somehow involved.
And if you have a beloved, nerdy daughter who shares my fixation with proper punctuation, you might not want to mention to her this side effect of pregnancy.
At least, not if you want grandchildren.
suburbancorrespondent
You poor woman! And I thought the varicose veins were bad. The punctuation deficiency would have sent me over the edge…
seven
You should be able to pop the key out and clean it out… or maybe you need a USB vacuum.
Happy Mommy
Crumbs are way, way better than milk! Milk just makes all the keys stop working!
Jill
Crumbs…that’s why my blog is always a grammer atrocity too
Woman in a window
Smack that keyboard! Give it a good thumping. I wish I had crumbs to blame…just me n me brain, or what’s left of it.
Heidi
Oh, it’s like reading my own thoughts . . . again. I usually catch my own grammar errors and typos too, but every so often I miss one. And the embarrassment kills me. Especially if it’s in someone else’s comments where I can’t fix it.
If you form a support group, let me know.
Minnesotamom
I have to admit I noticed the rogue comma at Gretchen’s blog and thought it highly uncharacteristic of you. I won’t hold it against you. I’m charitable that way.
gretchen from lifenut
I noticed, of course, but thought nothing of it. I know you, and I know you know better. I also know there is someone riding around in you and that makes a huge difference.
I thought about removing it for you—but then this post wouldn’t have any context. If someone clicks over and sees your grammatically perfect comment, they may think you truly have lost your marbles.
bon
giggling. i have been having some similar problems with my own spelling as i type, which alarms the crap outta me as my perfect spelling is something i count on more than the sun rising and all that. i decided i just needed to cut my nails…but secretly i know it’s just my muddled, pregnant brain.
my sympathies. and relief to know i’m not alone.
Shalee
I cannot tell you how much I just giggled over this post. You and I are long lost friends.
Don’t worry about the poor Comma; it’s been abused for years. It’s about to get worse on the whole for it now that poor grammar, use of punctuation and incorrect spellings are on the rise with texting. Sometimes, technology is not a good thing.
Kelly @ Love Well
My proofreading skills have grown more dull with each pregnancy. I fully expect that one more baby will render me incapable of remembering the difference between effect and affect.
Beth
I understand. I hate it when I make the aforementioned grammatical errors myself. I have no pregnancy to blame it on, except perhaps lingering hormones from the past four pregnancies, but hey, oh well.
I’ll not judge because I can feel from your post that it pains you as much as it does me when I make the same error. lol
Pieces
I hate to say that I think those skills magically disappear with the last pregnancy and never come back. I can’t believe how many times I type there instead of their and sometimes MISS it in proofreading. Scary.
Pieces
I forgot to mention how fabulously funny this post is. You’re writing always grabs me.
[sic]
brother
Veronica,
Write like an engineer for a change. Subject, verb, and object followed by a period. Keep all sentences 13 words or less. Use numbers, symbols and greek letters (not greek sentences) whenever possible. Feel free to use –, …, ( ), or { } because they are on the keyboard. You don’t need another reason. Forget spell checking — it slows down completion of the project. Besides engineers don’t read - they skim. English is great. If enough engineers screw up the usage of a word they receive a new definistion {ensure-insure}. Don’t defend the comma, it’s just a coma with another m.
brother
PJ
Aaah those wonderful hormones and the brainwaves they interfere with!!! (Dangling preposition!!!) At my age I have the same problem, opposite cause…those synapses just don’t synapse the way they should. Be encouraged…most of yours is temporary. Of course later comes the trying to focus and concentrate while walking through a field of small toys with little hands grabbing you and little voices ringing in your years!!!
Just came over from BooMama’s blog!! I shall return!!!