Mr Senator, What Is Your Stance on Haircuts?
I cut Az the Husband’s hair today. A few years ago, he opted for the 1/4 inch buzz-cut and full, old-man beard, like Jeff Bridges in Iron Man. It’s a look that suits him, and it keeps haircuts cheap because I can do them at home.
Usually I wait to cut his hair until the kids are in bed. It’s a little easier without small ones reaching for electrical cords or scissors. But today I cut his hair in front of the children. The baby crawled on the floor and watched, open-mouthed as clumps of Daddy’s hair fell to the floor. Four-year-old JellyBean ignored us, and three-year-old Sweetpea was upset.
Sweetpea does not like getting her own hair cut. She squirms and cries and objects, and I find myself saying really loving things through gritted teeth like, “If you don’t hold still, I am going to strap your head to the chair.” And that’s just for a trim of the bangs. So Sweetpea watched Daddy get his hair cut, and she got more and more agitated.
“You should not DO that, Mommy!”
“Why not, honey? Daddy doesn’t mind getting his hair cut. He likes getting his hair cut.”
“NO, HE DOESN’T!”
“Yes, I do, sweetie. Look, I’m not crying at all.”
“NO!”
Daddy was not to be believed. His claim that he liked haircuts was flatly contrary to a basic law of the universe: HAIRCUTS ARE AWFUL. No credence could be given to such outrageous contradictions of known realities. He must, in short, be lying or be crazy. Such is the confidence of a three-year-old.
I am noticing some similarities between my little girl and the tenor of the political pundits on blogs, tv and radio this summer. They seem very certain that the opposing side cannot possibly mean the things they say they mean, and must be deceitful or stupid or evil or deranged.
So please excuse me this election season if, when presented with campaign propaganda, you overhear me muttering, “But he DOES like haircuts.”
I must just be crazy. Or maybe lying.
PJ
I love the determination of a 3-year old. (But not that of a political pundit). 3-Year olds are Cute (Political pundits are …. UNcute).
Shannon
That’s hilarious. I agree with PJ - three year old determination is cute - irrational determination is less adorable in politicians.
Jeana
This is a great analogy (and cute story) and I can see lots of places where it applies to my views, and how other people misunderstand my reasons for them.
However, I can’t see anywhere that it applies to the other party’s point of view, so I have to assume that they really are all jerks.
(And now comes the deliberation: Do I leave a cheesy emoticon, or an obnoxious “Just kidding!” or do I go with neither, knowing that you will know I’m being facetious but someone else will come along and get their keyboard in a wad over it? Tough issues.)
(Do you know how long it took me to find the correct spelling for facetious?)
Veronica Mitchell
Jeana, multivalence is a sign of verbal skill. Embrace the misunderstanding.
Also, dictionary.com is on my bookmark toolbar.
Sherri E.
They seem very certain that the opposing side cannot possibly mean the things they say they mean, unless they are deceitful or stupid or evil or deranged.
Indeedy. I have two rules for engagement in public discourse (which I rarely pursue, because it takes effort to do well, and I am lazy):
1)Epistemic humility
2)Rhetorical charity
My working theory is that most pundits don’t care about persuasion; they could care less about being winsome, or even just constructive. They just want to be Right– to Win the Argument. They are only after what Bill Whittle calls “cheerleading sessions, full of sound and fury and signifying nothing but a soothing reduction in blood pressure brought about by the narcotic high of being agreed with.”
Rachel
I’m truly curious: if Sweetpea hates having her haircut, why do you give her bangs?
Veronica Mitchell
Rachel, so she can see. Cutting bangs every six weeks is much easier than fighting with barrettes or pony tails every day.
Kimberly
When I was three, my mom cut my beautiful blond long curls (I don’t remember them, just the pics) and said, “when you are old enough to take care of your own hair, you can have it long again.
I wore some version of the “dorothy hammil” for the next 16 years.
Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Veronica Mitchell
Kimberly, my mom always said the same thing. My hair was very short as a child and I was always being mistaken for a boy. It caused me enough difficulties that I make sure that, long or short, my girls have girly hair, even if it is more work.
Julie
Oh man. Did you have to write about haircuts today? Two of my kids came down with lice yesterday. That is, we discovered them yesterday. They both have very short hair now.
Anyway, I love your point about the politicians & pundits. Well said!
Tonggu Momma
Number 1 Reason to Love Your DVR or TIVO —- an election year.
Enough said.
Veronica Mitchell
TM, it is also a reason to love not having a tv. In the 2004 election I did not watch a single political ad.
Jeana
I love dictionary.com! I just used it again, to look up “multivalence”. But the darn thing wouldn’t load earlier, so I had to try about five wrong spellings in the old fashioned book form, then it finally came up and I got the correct spelling.
You see the lengths I go to to protect the integrity of your comment section.
Jennifer
That is great. Boy, I hate politics.
Happy Geek
I LOVE American elections. So much more interesting than ours. The pundits are what make it fun. Mind you, I really have little vested interest in the outcome so I can just enjoy the outrageous posturing.
Minnesotamom
HA!
Pieces
Love the story AND the analogy. I’m going to try to remember that mantra the next few months.
Beck
I FINALLY, FINALLY have a child who will let me touch her head. The Girl would shriek like she was dying whenever I so much as put her hair in a ponytail. And so now The Baby has PRETTY fancy hair, let me tell you.
Canadian elections are boring. I always just vote for whoever is running locally that I know.
Mad
I cut MadDad’s hair with a buzzer too. I keep hoping that this free service will result in some sort of subsidy for my comparatively expensive cuts. Now there’s a feminist issue just waiting to explode.
Octamom
A new phrase has just entered my vernacular! Likes the Haircut!
Blessings!
Redstocking Grandma
You know me as Matriarch, but I have decided to combine two blogs and use my more distinctive redstockinggrandma ID.
Everytime I mentioned the possibility of a haircut to my most sensitive two years old, she got hysterical. I finally realized that she was afraid the process involved cutting off her head. At 20 months, her longest complete sentence was: “It makes me sad Mommy that you call me Katie when my name is Katherine.” If your parents don’t know your name, who knows what other torture they might inflict.
I remember when my mom, the mother of 5 boys, got a buzzer and gave them crew cuts for the first and only time. I would have left home rather than let her touch my hair. The first husband gave the girls decent haircuts for years.
I follow you a twitter all the time. Would you be interested in following me? I have a granddaughter due August 30 and another due November 10, so I am immersed in pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding discussions. Gratifying, my second due in a week, has been reading and discussing my 4 birth stories for the last few weeks.