Grumpy But Fine at the Doctor’s Office
Yesterday I went in for my weekly check-up. I have been using the same OBGYN practice for the last three pregnancies, and by now the doctors are very familiar to me. There are four of them, and I see all four during the course of a pregnancy. My baby will be delivered by whichever of them happens to be on call at the time.
It is a good practice with knowledgeable and reliable doctors, but each has his or her quirks. This one talks too much and must be interrupted if I want to make sure she understands a problem. That one almost never blinks. This one has a great bedside manner but is uncomfortable discussing weight issues. And the doctor I saw yesterday is the most likely to have the facts at his fingertips if I want to discuss the latest pregnancy study, but he is very rigid about rules.
So yesterday I was examined by Dr. Rules and I made the mistake of saying that the baby does not move very much. He immediately started saying DECREASED MOVEMENT in big capital letters and insisted that I have the baby monitored. I explained that it was not “decreased movement,” that this baby had never moved very much, and he asked about my kick counts. I do not do kick counts with this baby because if I actually called the doctor every time I could not get 10 kicks in an hour, I would be calling the doctor every single day. This is a docile, sleepy baby, at least in the womb.
The two doctors at this practice who have actually carried babies in their own wombs are completely unbothered by the sedentary nature of this baby and comfortably tell me to call only if she begins moving less than customary. But Dr. Rules was having none of it, so he ordered me to be hooked up to the monitor so they could measure the baby’s movement and heart rate for twenty minutes.
Of course, the nurse could not get a reading from the baby if I lay in a remotely comfortable position, so she made me lie on my back. Lying on my back during pregnancy hurts and it makes breathing difficult. But HEY! I’m just the gestating mother! Why should I need to breathe?
After fifteen minutes of back-lying torture which revved up my heartburn, made my stomach muscles cramp, raised my blood pressure and gave me sciatic twinges, I was growling phrases like “know-it-all doctors” and “over-medicalized births” and “stupid waste of my time.” They concluded that OH! the baby hardly moves at all, so they brought out the buzzer to wake her up enough to kick to their satisfaction. Then they finally released me.
I was grumpy about the whole thing, and I will remember next time to fake it when Dr. Rules asks me about kick counts. I will also fortify myself with lots of Hathor the Cow Goddess before my next appointment.
In the meantime, you can also read my thoughts on pregnancy at my latest 5MFP post, where I growl considerably less about it.
gwen
My second didn’t move much either. One of my midwives would spaz at the mention of it, but the other hardly blinked. Eventually I just stopped bringing it up. But, it was quite disconcerting after the all-day-every-day disco party in my womb during my first pregnancy.
Robbin
I had a maternal-fetal medicine specialist instead of an OB (because of “advanced maternal age” - there’s self-esteem-boosting). He said he didn’t bother with kick counts. Said they never told him a thing.
Kimberly
I had a “Dr. Rules” with my first pregnancy. “Oh, we see that you have gained one quarter of a pound more than the required amount, now let’s be careful of that, and make sure you take your blood pressure every day.”
OY!
Though Dr. Rules was just the most fabulous surgeon to have when I needed a Csection b/c of a transverse breech baby. He was the best.
Nevertheless, this time around I switched practices. This doc is the opposite. He said, “So, mama, when is this baby going to be born?” when I told him the date of my LMP was wrong for dating this pregnancy.
We will see if he puts me through the same hoops as the last one.
And, oh yeah, they did the buzzer thing on me with my son, and WOW, he didn’t tell me what was happening. Way to wake up after a boring doze on the exam table.
Blessings to you as you go through these next few weeks.
Kimberly
Oh yeah, and I usually read your blog at the end of my reader, like dessert. But today I am grumpy and tired, and so read you first. Brightened my day….love your writing.
Clemntine
As you know, you and I are in a race to the finish line. I went on the monitor for a bit yesterday myself, as the contractions I was having during the BioPysical Profile were quite strong. The perinatologist I had for that visit is Dr. Conservative so I dozed in a recliner on the fetal monitor for 30 minutes. Who am I to turn down 30 minutes of peace and quiet?
Glad all’s well with you!
Beck
Poor baby! They wouldn’t let her SLEEP!
The GIrl was so active while I was pregnant with her that we were convinced that she was going to become some sort of kickboxing/soccer champion. And yet she is a laid-back, gentle girl….
Karen
you and your crazy selfish need for oxygen.
Mary-LUE
I’m so sorry about the medical torture. Wouldn’t Dr. Rules have told you that pregnant women aren’t supposed to lie on their backs? Arghh! Well, I’m sorry you had to suffer through that to find out what you already knew.
Hang in there!
JulieC
See, honesty will kick you back, every time! That’s something I would have done, too–answered the question honestly and then remembered who I was talking to. (Instead of remembering first!)
Thanks for the update–I was wondering how you were doing.
Tonggu Momma
Didn’t you know that oxygen is a WANT rather than a NEED? (I should know… I have asthma.)
Avoid Dr. Rules from now on. He sounds like No Fun.
Erin
Hey, at least you got to lie down for awhile. You take what you can get, I guess . . .
Antique Mommy
Sean hardly kicked at all. He would occassionally stretch, which felt really weird in ways that shouldn’t be described on a family blog such as this.
suburbancorrespondent
Um, don’t they know that lying on your back is bad for baby? And didn’t they give you any sugary juice to try to rev the baby up first? What knuckleheads…