Dating
Thirteen years ago, I was so dialed into him, I could walk into a room and know if he had been there recently just by the scent in the air. On drives thirteen years ago, we kissed each other at stoplights. We snuggled constantly, and I looked at him with starry eyes.
Today love is something different. I know his flaws and he knows mine. There is no more room for adoration, not exactly. I know what an ass he can be, and adoration has been replaced by mildly baffled wonder at how much he loves me, now that I know what an ass I can be, too.
I have a relative, a very successful fellow, who is currently on his third marriage. He is likable and amusing and wealthy, but he has no lifelong friends. I don’t think he can stand to be loved in spite of his flaws. He wants to be a hero among men, grand and dramatic even in his sins, but eventually love only offers itself with forgiveness for our recognized shabbiness. And that’s when he leaves.
Az and I have a date tomorrow night. We will be leaving the children with competent providers and we will go out to a favorite restaurant. Dates are very rare for us; usually only once a year, though this year we have managed two already. Our third date in one year! Extravagance.
Tomorrow I will take a shower – not yet a daily activity since the birth – and I will try to keep the baby from spitting up on my clothes. I will give Az a haircut and beard trim in the afternoon, and he will wear a nice shirt. We will fumble with our chopsticks, and maybe, for a moment, our conversation. And if we’ve bickered between now and then, we will efficiently forgive each other and get down to the business of enjoying our date.
I bet he’ll smell nice.
Tonggu Momma
A date. Smile. Hey – wait a minute – it’s our anniversary tomorrow and we don’t have a date. Something tells me we need to learn from y’all.
Chaotic Joy
“Today love is something different. I know his flaws and he knows mine. There is no more room for adoration, not exactly. I know what an ass he can be, and adoration has been replaced by mildly baffled wonder at how much he loves me, now that I know what an ass I can be, too.”
Exactly. Exactly Exactly. My 12-year-old daughter says you and dad are not very romantic. And I tell her “There really are some things better than romance, and I hope you find them someday.”
This was lovely. Enjoy your date.
Tracey
I agree with Chaotic Joy, there are some things better than romance. ~:-)
carrien (she laughs at the days)
“mildly baffled wonder at how much he loves me”
That’s it exactly. I hope you have wonderful time.
Emily in Austin
I think I hear that missing voice in here! As always, thank you for speaking truth. I hope you guys have a great date!
Coralie
I must humbly disagree with Chaotic Joy and Tracey. I think what you have described is romance – the very best kind – and the sort I pray my daughter will learn from her father and I.
Coralie
er. me and her father. (blush)
PastormacsAnn
Outstanding!
Hope your evening out together is wonderful!
Emily
I like this post. I hope my husband and I are as comfortable eight years from now as you and Az are with each other.
Sherri E.
Yes yes!
Blog Antagonist
It’s funny how marriage evolves, isn’t it? You can’t really explain to somebody who doesn’t know. It’s nice.
Enjoy your date! You certainly deserve it.
Mrs Lemon
Dates rock! have a great time.
gretchen from lifenut
Have a great time. Two nice-smelling and deeply committed people on-the-town? You can’t go wrong, even if your date is a night at the tire store.
Jordan
I love it! Wonderful little post. Have fun!
Beck
Oh, VERONICA. What a gorgeous post.
Have fun tonight.
Melanie
Brilliant. You are on a writing roll this week! Have fun with the love of your life!
JulieC
Just lovely! Have a fun dinner!
allysha
This is a great post. So true. It makes me smile.
Cyndi
That sounds about right. It is nice when you can just enjoy each other and love each other for who they are. I understand the bafflement. Sometimes I wonder how my husband can love me when I can be so mean to him. I’m sure glad he does, though.
Have a great time!
Alison
Lovely.
Minnesotamom
Haha–in the ads on the left, there’s one that says “Attract MR. RIGHT.” Already found him, and he loves me in spite of my assiness, too. Grace is a marvelous, marvelous invention. Thanks, God.
The Diaper Diaries
And the best part? No one has to pretend anymore that we don’t get horrible gas. Although that part isn’t so great when it is him that has the gas.