Adventures in Grammar: Express Dozen Only
A new Dunkin’ Donuts opened in our neighborhood recently, to my dread and delight. Yes, I can feel both those things at the same time. I can when donuts are involved.
Anyway, I tried the drive-thru one day, and was perplexed to see this sign at the intercom:
The voice on the intercom asked for my order and I said, “Uh. The sign says I can only order the express dozen.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“So why do you have a menu out here if I can’t order from it?”
The voice explained that it actually is possible to order something other than the express dozen from their drive-thru. The sign SHOULD say something like: “Orders of a dozen donuts are limited to the express dozen only.” You can pick and choose your own donuts if you want three or seven or ten. But if you want twelve, you can only order the twelve they have pre-chosen for you.
This signs irks me. It turns out there is something I long for even more than donuts: clarity.
Kat
Want to hear something even more frustrating than that? There is no Dunkin Donuts in the city I live in. Can you believe it? Outrage!
Dana~Are We There Yet?
This would drive me right up the wall!
carrien (she laughs at the days)
I think it would be hilarious if they posted a sign that actually said that.
patois
I don’t know about Dunkin Donuts, but I’d be all over a Krispy Kreme place. And no drive-thru for me. I’d have to walk in to justify the caloric explosion of those yummy donuts.
Beck
Doughnuts are my favorite, but only with their elaborate spelling. I do not want to eat a donut, but through in some Us and some Gs and I am ALL OVER IT.
Mmmm, maple dipped doughnuts. Stupid diet.
Courtney
yea that is a little annoying…but a big bear claw sounds yummy. Note to self: go to Duncan Donuts!!!
andrea_jennine
Oh, signs and grammar… I laughed out loud the other day as I drove past a sign directing people to a “HUGH GARAGE SALE!”
Heather
I’ll have to show this one to my high school English students. You mean knowing how to write well is important in the real world? Gasp!
liz
Oh dear. There is a Dunkin’ Donuts coming to my neighborhood and I’ve already been filled with dread and delight. They haven’t even demolished the old building they’ll be converting… do you think my daily struggle to resist is too early? Just trying to get my heart in the right place because my will-power only exists in one direction - the pursuit of doughnuts (absolutely no restraint there)! I wonder what the signage will be some months from now at my local establishment…
Tina @ www.antiquemommy.com
Getting a donut fix should not be complicated.
Kimberly
Bah humbug.
My pithy comment got eaten by my computer.
My DD had a similar, though hand drawn, sign. Used to drive me nuts. The first time I saw it, in my pre-kid, pre-marriage days, I was racing to work, and stopped. All I wanted was one donut and one cup of coffee. Then I saw the sign. And was so mad (and apparently out of my head) that I ordered a dozen, thinking that if I wanted one, I needed to order 12. Good logic, eh? (I was practicing law at the time, don’t know what that says about my abilities in that regard.)
When I arrived at the window and complained about the sign and having to order 12 donuts, I was told what you were told. And THEN I was so mad that I drove off, sans donuts AND coffee.
And slunk into Star.bucks.
Erin
Mmmmmm donuts.
Miscellaneous From Missy
There is a sign in my town that reads:
“Dirty car wash here”
Now, why would I want to take my car to a dirty car wash? The sign should say, “Dirty car? Wash here.”
nicole
That is absolutely confusing. More importantly though, did you get a pumpkin donut? Because they are heaven in the form of dough and you don’t want to miss them. Just saying.
Sis
We had TWO six foot neon signs on our road telling us “Watch out for Uncoming traffic.” I watched my husband clench everytime we passed them. What is Uncoming traffic anyway, and who’s the dork that mispelled it twice?
jolyn
Oh my gosh we love dunkin! Specifically, my husband and son LOVE it, and they used to get a dozen donuts every week. Alas, I had to be the scrooge and point out that our budget doesn’t exactly allow for that. Now when we get donuts it’s usually our 13yo son’s treat! Which just made my heart go all a flitter the first time he offered to be so generous. Hubby’s birthday is tomorrow and my son is going to get him the perfect gift: a dozen dunkin.
A few months ago we went through their drive-thru, the first and only time, on our way out of town (we’ve only lived near a DD for a year now). The husband ordered a dozen and when we got to the window I made him holler out to the guy because he was already boxing them up and we had never told him what kind we wanted. And I am a donut snob. (Must have the cake kind.) The guy readily complied but now I wonder if there was a sign? Because if there was we didn’t notice it. And we wondered later, did the guy just put the donuts back in the case after we left? Or did he gladly eat them? Or do you actually get tired of donuts if you work around them?