The Most Disgusting Spiritual Insight You Will Ever Read. In Fact, You Might Want to Skip This One.
All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away. Isaiah 64:6
The book of Isaiah has some of scripture’s most visceral metaphors for the nature of goodness and sin. In this verse, the author compares human goodness to filthy rags, using the word for the rags that women used for menstrual blood. It is a stark image, not likely to be repeated in church on Sunday morning. A pastor would not last long with most congregations if he told them that their righteousness was like dirty tampons.
But if disgust has a place in spirituality, then disgusting metaphors have a place in scripture. In fact, I once learned a lot from a disgusting metaphor.
Almost twenty years ago, I had a disturbing dream. I never told anyone about it, for reasons you will obviously deduce in a minute. In an impulsive moment, however, I shared it with my Bible study group at church last week, and they seemed to consider it sufficiently useful to be worth its grossness, so I decided to share it with you.
In my dream, I was sitting in a bathroom stall in my dormitory, and I was covered in sh*t. I know some of you are offended by that word, but that’s what it was, and it was supposed to be offensive. That was the point of the dream.
I was sitting in the bathroom stall, covered in sh*t, on me and on the walls and everywhere. It was horrifying. But instead of getting clean, I was taking expensive parchment paper and wrapping up the foulness in little packages and stacking it behind me. I had a stack going halfway up the wall.
I was wrapping yet another, when the stall door opened and someone looked in on me. She took a minute to comprehend what she was seeing, then asked, obviously stunned, “Veronica, what are you doing?”
“I’m saving it for later,” I said.
And then I woke up.
I spent the day mulling over my shocking dream. In a moment of sudden clarity I realized: that was my sin. Given the opportunity to be washed and clean through Jesus, instead I am sitting in my filth, treating the mess like it is something precious.
All these years later, I am sometimes faced with something I need to confess, or some wretched pride or resentment that I am still clinging to when I shouldn’t, and I will feel that familiar wave of embarrassment and realize: I’m doing it again. I’m saving it for later.
“Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Matthew 8:2
Julie Youngblood
WOW! I am totally impressed with this analogy. Gross as it may be- and it really is gross, you hit the nail on the head. I think we all do this, don’t we?
Sue
I love this - thank you.
Adventures In Babywearing
Man this socked me in the gut…
Steph
Mrs Lemon
One time Mr Lemon and I had a fight, and I dreamed that night that he saw me using the bathroom. I think it was because I showed him an ugly side of me I never wanted him to see.
Sin is ugly. And stinky. Excellent analogy.
Razzler
Wow. You have no idea how hard this message just hit me. Thank you for sharing your gross spiritual insight!
Kimberly
Well, and sin sticks to us, too. Kindof like the other. And sin gets all over, as well.
Sortof reminds me of potty training. (Which I haven’t started yet with my 2yo, but that is another story.) But I have several friends with little boys. They will sit in a dirty diaper and refused to have it changed. (Actually, this happens somewhat regularly in my house.) And they do NOT want to sit on the potty and have the waste flushed away. There is an instinct to keep the waste, either next to themselves, in the diaper, or in their bodies by not defecating in the toilet.
And I think we do the same with sin. We want to keep it close by. And I have, more often than I care to admit, held the sin inside me and refused to have it washed away.
Great Post.
Terri
Now that’s powerful imagery! And so true.
Coralie
I’m going to be pondering on this for a long time. Saving it for later. How much sh*t have I piled up for later? Too much to count. Maybe that’s why life stinks sometimes.
excellent point.
Sarah
Wow. I’m glad you wrote that; I really needed to “hear” that. I’ve never read your blog before, and I got here through a series of links…but I think I got here on purpose. About 5 minutes ago I was weeping over sin that I’ve held so close to my heart…Thanks for sharing.
Lisa (funny farmer)
:Raises hand guiltily:
Yeah. I do this too. Dang. Thanks for the reminder of what a stupid self-destructive habit it is.
Kelly @ Love Well
Powerful analogy, but truthful to the original intent.
I also love that you don’t automatically equate your packages to the obvious, outward sins that many people think of — adultery, abortion, lying, stealing. I grow weary of people — myself included — focusing on the external junk without looking in their heart.
Lori
This kind of post is why I read this blog.
Love that.
boomama
Excellent.
carrien (she laughs at the days)
What Lori said.
Well, and the other stuff too.
JulieC
This is very helpful!
Jennifer
Wow, that is a powerful image. Unfortunately, it is also exactly what is lacking in many of our churches these days.
What a weird dream - do you dream a lot? Well, we do tend to put God in a box, don’t we? If He wants to speak through dreams, He’s entirely able. I’ll be thinking on that one for quite awhile…
Alison
Very insightful. I think the imagery needs to be shocking to help us understand how vile sin really is.
Beck
Shocking - and excellent.
And this is not really on topic but it sort of is - when I was a teenager, a friend of mine and I were wandering around Toronto and looking for a bathroom. We went into a McDonalds’ bathroom and there were TONS of women waiting inside, and one empty stall.
What? So we open the door…
… and it was covered, FLOOR TO CEILING, in crap. Just like your dream! Except inside a McDonalds in Toronto.